UGH.

I am so disappointed.

I ran yesterday. It was great! It was slow, and I needed to take breaks fairly often, because WOW it hardly takes any time at all to lose your endurance and strength -- especially for a newbie runner like me! It felt so great to be running again!

BUT----- as soon as I got out of the car to pick up the boys from daycare (35 minutes post run) I realized that all of the stretching that I did immediately after did not prevent the plantar fasciitis from acting up. My specific pain is NOT my heel -- it is the end of my arch, on the padded part on the inside of my heel. OUCH. It still hurts today, even after wearing the brace for a bit last night.

So I am walking as much as I can throughout the day, and just trying to become acclimated to the pain. I am seething with frustration.

Running Headbands, Running in General

A person that over analyzes things to begin with being forced to rest to recover is never a good thing. I find myself worrying about getting re-injured if I try to run again too soon. Then I find myself worrying about how well I will be able to run -- or *if* I will be able to run at all. I fought so hard through the Couch to 5K program this summer so to be sidelined with plantar fasciitis, a cold, and now a knee thing, and a second cold. It is so frustrating. I tried to exercise -- doing my favorite 30 Day Shred video, and it destroyed my left knee. It has taken days to get it feeling back to normal. :(

Today I really want to try to get out there, but my cold has descended into my chest. Argh.

Ok.

Now I want to talk about a very controversial topic. Okay. It isn't controversial at all. I was joking.

But, in all SERIOUSness, I was over the moon excited to see sweatybands represented at the vendor expo at my last 5K. Seriously. I spotted the familiar font from across the field, and RAN (maybe even SKIPPED) over there. I picked out a gorgeous headband, and then was convinced to try a different one, because it was "new." That doesn't matter. What does matter is that..... I can't make it look good on me. :( I don't like how it looks with my hair DOWN, I don't like how it looks when I wear my hair UP. I am so disappointed. And it definitely doesn't work like I had hoped in the "sweat soaking" department. So for $18, it has definitely been the MOST expensive piece of running gear (besides my shoes and Nike+), and the LEAST EFFECTIVE. I guess I am going to stay away from the wide headbands, and I am going to support T of Racing with Babes and her etsy shop. Her headbands are absolutely adorable, and more than HALF the price of the sweatybands. We just don't have ANY extra money right now, or I seriously would already own about seven of them. (Especially the pink and lavender one... it is so beautiful.)

And just an update on the home-front--

Soccer Boy (age 4) is snuggled next to me on the couch, and Cuddle Bug (almost 8 months!!!) is rolling around on the floor trying to find anything other than the dozen toys around him to play with. I adore my family!!!

Recommitted

"Im not telling you it is going to be easy- I'm telling you its going to be worth it." -Art Williams

My eating has been out of control. Combine that with the fact that my plantar fasciitis has not gone away completely, and now it seems like it is resulting in KNEE pain as well, I have not exactly been active, either.

I am definitely an emotional/boredom eater. Hunger is RARELY the reason that I eat. I eat because it is lunch time. I eat because there is food that I like in the house. I eat because there ISN'T food that I like in the house.

So for me, counting calories can be useful, but it doesn't get at the real problem. The REAL problem for me is WHY I am eating. And the fact that if I am eating when I am not hungry, then..... um.... why the heck am I eating in the first place? There are more implications of a spiritual nature as well. (If I do share, because this is MY blog, it is because this is my own journey. I would never force my beliefs down your throat. Just sayin'. ) So, because I had experienced success a few years ago doing an online study at Setting Captives Free, and I knew that the structure, and grounded theology and accountability were exactly what I needed at this point, I signed up to take the course again. I already feel more optimistic, excited and happy.

The study itself is all about how to have an appropriate relationship with food. Food = fool. So -- yes, it is intuitive eating, but with a spiritual element included.

The hardest thing for me is definitely going to be to wait for hunger -- especially since my classes are right back to back on top of each other, and I usually have to scarf food down quickly or miss my chance entirely to get lunch from the cafe in the teachers room. Today, however, I brought stuff for lunch, so I am prepared whenever I get stomach rumbles. When I actually commit to waiting for hunger, I don't GET HUNGRY. When I am not thinking of it, I feel ravenous around 10:30, which means that it is most likely BOREDOM or ROUTINE.

Interesting.

And... since I am once again BEHIND on my days of thanks posts, there will be a massive thankful post coming up later today.

Ciao!

Running Update, because I know you have all been on the edge of your seat.

I belong to dailyMile. (If you do too, then look me up -- mdawg722)

I love this site. It is a social fitness site, and has tons of information to help you track your running, biking, swimming, anything fitness goals. I love reading about other people's training, and being inspired and encouraged by people who are both at my beginning status, or those who are out owning the roads in pursuit of BQs. In fact, it was on dailyMile that I first heard about BQ and then researchedwhat a BQ is. I would tell you, but.... a little bit of work never hurt anyone.

Now I started this post on Tuesday, November 9th. I cannot remember why I wanted to start out with talking about dailyMile. But, I did, and I am always on the hunt for more runners to follow, so I went with it.

So the plantar fasciitis is definitely improving. I can wear my regular shoes again. I have been running 2 to 3 times a week. On those runs I can definitely tell that I have lost some of my endurance and stamina. But, I am not going to stress about it. I am just going to get out there and run as often as I can, and if I don't even run a mile? At least I got out there at all. I have a tendency to expect these ridiculous things from myself, based on comparing myself with people that the only thing that I have in common with them are a) I am human, b) I have legs and c) I am on dailyMile.

If I am going to compare myself to people I need to be looking for people a little bit more closely related to my circumstances and situation. For example:

1) Mother of two pre-school age children. (age 4 and 7 months)

2) Obese (GAH! I hate that word!) - needing to lose 8o - ish pounds.

3) Recovering from plantar fasciitis.

4) Living in the Northeast, where it now gets dark at 4pm. Or it will be in a couple of weeks.

5) NEWBIE runner - did C25K program in May/June.

Now-- you tell me. Do those criterion seem to line up at all with those who have been running for several years, and who are training for marathons, and are in peak health?

Nope.

So, I have been giving myself lots of grace, and freedom to just get out there and run, and to stop qualifying and quantifying everything. Just get out there, and ENJOY it. Because if I can ENJOY it, then I will CONTINUE to run, and while I am losing the weight and firming up, I can be slowly building up a base that will prepare me for 10Ks and beyond.

30 Days of Thanks - Day 1

Middle Name Marie, of Always a Reason to Run, is starting her 30 Days of Thanks for the second year in a row. I was inspired, especially since I haven't been exactly a ray of sunshine lately, and have been getting discouraged about the whole "not being able to run" thing.

So, I am about to embark on my own "30 Days of Thanks" journey. I would love it if we could start a movement! If you decide to do this as well, let me know, and stop by Middle Name Marie's site and let her know too! It is amazing to be inspirational to someone!

Day 1.

I am SO very thankful for my job, and the people that I work with and for, and my students.

I am the band director for a small oceanside community in Maine. I teach grades 5 - 12, and I truly love my job. The teachers that I work alongside are amazing, and the administration is fabulous. I feel blessed every day!

One of the many perks? That the high school brings a physical therapist to the school twice a week for the athletes, and the staff are encouraged to go and see him if we are in need. I have been to see him twice since my plantar fasciitis flare-up, and with his guidance, I have been doing stretches, and using a very helpful instrument of torture ankle brace that keeps my foot in flex position so that the tissues supporting my arch (the plantar fascia) don't shrink, and in theory I am able to walk in the morning.

So many things to be thankful for about my job and workplace alone -- I could probably come up with 30 from there alone!

And then there is the whole having a degree and actually using that degree, and that I was able to find a job IN that field right after I graduated college. That is becoming an increasingly rare event these days!

Wow. I can already tell that I am going to LOVE doing this. Thanks for the inspiration, Middle Name Marie!