I had no idea how difficult weaning would be.
Seriously.
It just happened in a very natural, easy way with my oldest son. However, he was over a year old at the time. Now I am actively trying to wean my six month old. It is coming to the point that I need to give him formula in the middle of the night because he is STARVING and I apparently have nothing left to give him. Now, I know that if I let him, he could very quickly get my supply back up to where it needs to be for me to keep nursing him at night time. But is it wrong of me to be ready for my morning routine to just be MY morning routine, and not "what time is my son going to wake up and be hungry this morning?"
All I can say is that it is a GOOD thing that I was in bed by 7:30, watching an episode of Roswell (I truly love Netflix instant on my iPod touch) and that I was asleep before 9pm, because J was up at 10, 2, 3, 4 and 5 -- at which point I told my husband "I have NOTHING left for him and he is starving. At least, I think that is what is going on. I am going to make him a bottle." I came back upstairs, and the little bugger LUNGED for the bottle and drank it in record time, and then proceeded to sleep until after I left for work. Poor starving baby! Tonight a bottle waiting to be made will be upstairs with me, ready to feed him when he needs it. I anticipate a higher quality (and quantity) of sleep to happen for all! Yay!!
Anyway, all of that preamble is to explain the reason why running in the morning before work has not been happening. Yesterday I counted on being able to run after work, but didn't anticipate being in a meeting with colleagues until 3:45, and not leaving school until close to 4. However, I used the commute to talk myself IN to running anyway, even if I only got in a mile. And that is what I did. I got changed faster than ever and pounded the pavement. I did intervals - fast running/slow running, to the timing of C25K week 3, and it KICKED MY BEHIND. Wow. My lungs were HURTING. Ow. At my fastest pace I have NO idea how fast I was going, but I was booking it. I was focusing on form, and footstrike and all that good stuff. I probably should have WALKED to recover, but I didn't. Lesson learned? I am not sure. Anyway, the point it, I got a run in, and I worked hard, and I felt great about making it happen, even though I didn't have enough time.
It is truly amazing how ADAPTIVE humans are, and how quickly things become normal. Think about it! 4 months ago I couldn't run for a mile, and now I am at the point where if I am running less than 2 or even 3, I can easily start berating myself. How quickly my NORMAL changed to something that used to be INCONCEIVABLE! That can be exciting --- but the same principle can also be dangerous ... and I think it is the reason that we slip out of the good habits so often. It only takes one missed workout or run for a new normal (that is really an old, unwelcome normal) to begin to form again. Vigilance is key!!
For me, the bottom line is my priorities.
I need to remember my priorities with every decision that I make, for as we all know, every decision can be a turning point. I don't want to keep TURNING AROUND. I want to keep making one good decision after another, walking in a straight (-ish) line toward the healthiest me that I can be!
